Testing the Impossible

When Fear and Faith Collide

What Was I Thinking?

2 Comments

It’s a question I ask myself frequently.  But this time, I think I have completely lost my mind – tho to my great surprise, when I announced to sons #1 and #2 that mom was starting a blog, neither of them fell into a fit of gut-bursting laughter…

But really, what am I thinking?  Why have I decided to suddenly start – of all things – blogging??  In all honesty, I can think of a thousand things that would not only be simpler (like totally remodeling my house) but would also make more sense for someone like me to undertake.  The simple fact of the matter is that I am not doing this to make money, or to make new friends.  I’m not blogging about happy housewife adventures, or mommy mishaps; I don’t have a melt-in-your-mouth, gluten-free, completely organic pound cake recipe I want to share, and I am the last person you’d want to get dieting tips from. I don’t expect people to come seeking this page out to get words of wisdom or (what they may think is) sound advice.  Quite frankly, I am not doing this for you; I’m doing it for ME.  You read that correctly:  my motives are 100% SELFISH.  Because I need – not want, but NEED – people to keep me accountable.

I am absolutely, positively, and irrevocably convinced that there is a God in heaven who not only knows me fully, but desires that I fully know Him.  And I know that He is asking me now to put Him to the test – to try His faithfulness to me and allow Him to prove that He is the Promise-keeper, the God of His word.  To see how His blessings abound when I yield myself to His will.

Sounds simple enough, right?  Who doesn’t want God’s blessings poured out in their life?  Who would be foolish enough to say, “Thanks God, but I have enough; You don’t need to bless me anymore,”?  You guessed it:  THIS girl. (Yes, you can feel free to come by and smack me upside the head; the line forms to the left).  So the obvious question now becomes WHY?  Why would I stand here with my arms crossed defiantly, glaring at my heavenly Father (not necessarily metaphorically…) and refusing what He wants to give me?  Because I am allowing FEAR to smother my faith.  And I’m fed up with it.   So I’m taking my cowardice public.  I plan to blog my experience and be brutally honest about how I’m doing in trading fear for faith; with putting my God to the test.  And I am asking some select friends (and anyone who unwittingly stumbles across this page) to stop in often and see how my journey is going.  In the mean time, please pray for me.  I need it.

Kerri

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2 thoughts on “What Was I Thinking?

  1. I love it!!! I am so proud of you for taking the leap of faith in trusting God to allow you to be you in the open for all to see. He will be glorified through your blogging of your life experiences.

    Andre

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